Nick Hates All This Hate

The world seems to be an especially violent place over the past few weeks. Across the world people seem to be dying needlessly. There have been multiple assassination attempts against various world leaders, there have been shootings, bombings, there have been assaults and robberies. It seems pretty easy to want to give up. To look at the people committing these acts and feel so much anger for them feels right, it feels like that’s the obvious course of action here. Of course it does, they have hurt us and shaken our sense of safety. They have taken our comfort from us and reminded us of the evil in the world. This cannot stand. We will take them down and we will show them who’s boss. Right? Well kinda.

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FRDAY FIVE! “Calvin and Hobbes” Snowmen

Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early spring for 2013… but apparently Mother Nature hasn’t gotten the message.  Historic winter storms continue to rock most of the United States, dumping record amounts of snow (much to the Weather Channel’s delight!).  Fortunately, with tons of snow, come tons of snowmen — I even saw one, tiny, emaciated snow…man?… on the streets of New York!

This week Friday Five! celebrates snowmen by honoring Bill Watterson and the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, whose titular heroes create some of the most hilarious and memorable snowmen to ever grace the white, wintry landscape… real or fictional.  So, whether you’re snowed in, going crazy, or laughing at the rest of us (shut up, California), these panels are sure to entertain your brain and warm your heart.

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THE LONG-AWAITED MOVEMBER ANNOUNCEMENT

BREAKING NEWS, HOT OFF THE… Well, LUKEWARM NEWS THAT STILL TASTES GREAT! LIKE COOLED PIZZA!

The Casual Gentlemen will be (well, since it’s halfway through the month, already are) participating in the Mustachioed Mayhem of Movember. Brendan, Nick and Zane will be eschewing the right to bearded or facial-hair free punums in favor of some hopefully sick ‘staches (or “Moe’s” as they’re called in Australia, whence the Movember Movement started). Glenn unfortunately could not participate as his beard was cursed by gypsies to forever encase the stolen diamonds at the center of his chin, but he will be growing it out in spirit with us, much like Casual Gentlewoman Jeanne, who lacks the requisite chromosomes to join in.

What is Movember besides a good time to have ridiculous facial hair?

Movember is a world-wide movement designed to raise awareness for prostate and testicular cancer, two of the more serious Men’s Health issues out there right now (also the one with Tyler Perry on the cover, because he is America’s problem). During Movember, Mo-Bros and Mo-Sistas (as participants are called) become walking, talking signage to promote discussion on Men’s health topics and to raise funds for the cause. This blurb off the Movember website should help illuminate a bit more:

“Globally, fighting prostate cancer continues to be Movember’s highest priority. There are still many issues to be addressed, particularly when it comes to diagnosis – a key focus for many Movember funded research programs. Today, there still isn’t a test that accurately tells a man which type of prostate cancer he has, resulting in many men being over-diagnosed and having to undergo unnecessary and harmful treatment. Equally important to Movember are Survivorship programs. Diagnosis is just the first step in a man’s prostate cancer journey; Survivorship is the next and these programs can have a dramatic impact on the quality of life of men and their families and carers; they can mean the difference between men living a meaningful, quality life and just living.”

– Movember.com/about

What We’re Doing for Movember:

 The Participating Casual Gents took a trip last week to The Art of Shaving for a complementary shearing. We carefully catalogued the event in the photos below:

 

We’ve done our part by beginning to grow out strange lip-lazers, so now the balls in your court, Internet: you can (each and every one of our half-dozen loyalists) donate money to support this health movement at the Casual Gentlemen Movember page here: http://us.movember.com/team/631269

We’re making our faces look ridiculous so that we can punch cancer right in its stupid face. Join us in our cancer-punching awareness-raising campaign by donating a few bucks today! We also hope to have at least one event and/or prizes for those who donate or want to donate while getting something back. Stay tuned for more info!

P.S. Feel free to send us pictures of your moustaches/moustache themed attire and accessories, and if you’re a bro, grow a mo, Joe.

(Zane Note: I’m writing this post from an apartment that only two weeks ago was dark, cold, and evacuated because of Hurricane Sandy. I’m sure that many, if not all, of the 10 people who read this blog were affected or know someone who was affected by the Hurricane. If that feels like a more immediate concern, than please, by all means, donate to Red Cross or one of the various charities doing work. This November is an excellent time to give your support in the form of funding to some great causes, and the old adages are especially true these days: “Vote with your wallet” and “Put your monkey money where your mouth is.” Unless you’re from the Jersey Shore or Rockaway (in which case you have larger fish to fry) I hope you decide to shine super bright and pitch in for either Movember or Hurricane Sandy Relief. Of course you could always do both and be the shiniest shining person ever to shine.)

This Part Isn’t For You: A Plea To Tourists Visiting NYC

 

Brooklyn Bridge

Stay out of Brooklyn. I’m serious. That’s why we have Brooklyn, to get away from you. You get Manhattan, You can have it. We’ve chalked it up as a loss, you won. But Brooklyn, that’s ours. I know not a lot of people vacation in Wichita, so maybe you don’t know what it’s like to live in a tourist destination, but I’ll tell you right now, you people are awful. You walk slowly, ask for directions, carry around giant maps (seriously, it’s 2012, you can’t look at that on your phone?) and frankly you don’t dress well. It’s ugly and I don’t like looking at it.

Brooklyn is to be my haven from all of that. A safe place where I can go and not have to worry that I’m going to have to overhear a conversation about how afraid you are of eating food from a street vendor. I’m sorry, but that’s our culture here. New Yorkers don’t come to Wisconsin and talk shit about your cheese. No, we know to stay the hell away from Wisconsin. Who would ever go visit Wisconsin? Ugh, that sounds terrible.

But no, lately I’ve been seeing more and more families on the train asking how to pronounce Hoyt-Schermerhorn and Kosciuszko and then giggling at their own failed attempts. If you don’t know how to pronounce where you’re going, don’t go there. That’s a sign you don’t belong. That’s why we named Times Square “Times Square”. It’s simple and easy to pronounce, it’s full of bright lights for you to look at, and we’ve even infused it with some of staples of your local culture to make you feel at home. Whenever you can start to feel overwhelmed you can just step into the Applebees and feel right at home.

Perhaps you are visiting a friend or family member and you have to go to Brooklyn. Okay, that’s understandable and you can get a pass for that, but here’s the deal: your host picks you up at the airport and keeps you in their custody until they drop you back off.

“But what if I want to toot around on my own for a little bit and give my host a break.”

No. You lost that privilege the moment you used the word “toot”. If the person you’re staying with has to go to work, you are to be locked up inside the apartment like the dumb puppy you are until they get home. You can watch Yes, Dear on TBS until they return.

I’d like to be clear that I’m not trying to be mean, granted I’m not trying to be nice either, I’m just saying if someone comes to your house, you don’t want them immediately going through your closets and taking a nap on your bed. Some places are meant to be personal. Brooklyn is ours and you can’t have it, because if you take over Brooklyn we’ll have to go to Queens, and that thought is even more terrifying. Like I said, Manhattan is yours, you can have it. That’s why we put all of our big buildings and flashing lights there, so you would stay distracted  while we all sneak off to Brooklyn to have a good time. So just please stay there, because the next time someone asks me for directions to Park Slope I’m going to send you to Canarsie.

Nick Fehlinger is a co-founder of Casual Gentlemen Production and a grouch. He can often be found either drinking smoking or complaining at one of Brooklyn’s many bars, but only if you aren’t a tourist.

 

 

FRIDAY FIVE! Best Olympic Movies

Hello Internet!

I’ve decided to launch a fun, weekly post here at the Casual Gentlemen blog called the Friday Five!  Every Friday, to kick off the weekend, I’ll offer a category — something strange or wonderful or goofy — and then list my five favorite things from that category.  Use these lists to launch a debate.  As a way to break the ice with that hottie at the party.  Or, when all else has failed, settle a life long feud.

Whatever you decide to do, just remember: With great power comes great responsibility…

This week, in honor of the 30th Summer Olympiad and the spirit of individual human triumph (I’m a global citizen…), I present: The Top Five Olympic Movies!  Does your favorite film make the list?  Find out after the jump.

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The Medusoid: Quite Possibly The Creepiest Thing That’s Ever Happened

In case you didn’t get a chance to listen to the first episode of the Casual Gentlemen Podcast yet, on the show we discuss what researchers from Harvard and CIT have been up to lately, which is becoming bona fide mad scientists.

They have created a jellyfish out of silicone which is powered by the cells of a rat’s heart.

…hold on…one more time…

They have created a jellyfish out of silicone which is powered by the cells of a rat’s heart….. and it’s called a medusoid.

The researchers insist that they are doing it for the good of mankind and that it will be a powerful advance in the science of artificial organ production. However I say, “HOLYSHITWHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHYOUWHYDIDYOUJUSTMAKEAJELYFISHOUTOFPLASTICANDRATHEARTSWHYAREYOUPLAYINGGOD???!?!?”

You can hear more of our opinions on the podcast and you can see a video of the ungodly creature after the jump.

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