Glenn’s Guide #5: The Academy Awards, and the Oscar viewing party

Good evening, gentlemen.

Now that the blackout at the SuperBowl is officially over (thanks for nothing, Bobby Jindal!), I can refocus some of my attention back on the rest of the world.   Today, I will take time to tell you all how to handle the upcoming pop-culture event known as “The 85th Academy Awards.”  That’s right, y’all, Oscar night is coming February 24th, and you must needs be prepared.

They're coming!  Run!

They’re coming! Run!

If you, like me, spent the end of last year locked away deep in a subterranean Mayan apocalypse zombie-proof bunker, you haven’t seen many of the key films nominated for tiny gilded men this year.  It’s okay.  I can help you fake it well enough to survive any social interaction on the subject.  With my help, you’ll be able to attend an Oscar night party with the film-buffiest of cineastes and fake it like a true Casual Gentleman.

Hit the jump for more of my patented brand of wit and wisdom. Continue reading

Nick Hates Your Facebook Status

That’s right, I’m using a Facebook cover photo to ask people to shut up on Facebook. Did I just blow your freaking mind???

At what point did everyone become a political science major? Honestly, I’m genuinely curious. When did we turn from a culture of apathetic teens to overly-concerned-about-the-mundane twenty somethings?

Who made you my life coach? I don’t remember posting an open call for your wise words of inspiration. I guess I missed the part where you somehow figured out the meaning of life while the rest of us were flopping around on the floor like a bunch of seizure victims.

Hey, I know what your dog looks like.

Hit the jump, fools. Continue reading