Jeanne Says…Use Cash!
Use Cash! OK, I know the first thing all the New Yorkers are gonna say about getting robbed or whatever…but I feel like people don’t mug people for cash anymore, they mug you for I-Pads and Smartphones. So all that aside let me explain how the addiction to cards needs to stop, and we should re-embrace our currency!
Now,like with all ‘Jeanne Says’ I’m biased. I’ve worked mostly in a cash industry- not stripping, restaurants and bars- so I’m used to carrying cash-money.I prefer that people pay with cash and let me explain: FIRST you gotta go OVER to the credit card machine, SWIPE the stupid card that will inevitably take a few swipes to work and then WAIT for approval, risking the awkward situation of denial, then GO BACK OVER to the table, WAIT for them to sign and then go BACK over to the table, hope their math works or you get screwed and hope that they don’t take both receipts and then you lose out on the whole tip. Also, for all you group diners out there, don’t hand over SIX freakin’ cards on a check. You know what? Scratch that, if you’re gonna make us do ALLLLLL that extra work, then tip like it. Nevermind, the aggravation isn’t even worth it.
Moving on to the people who use their freakin cards to buy CUPS of COFFEE (thanks Starbucks for promoting caffeine and convenience) and get offended at minimums. Guess what people, it costs those cute small businesses money everytime you swipe. I’ve seen people get mad at a $5 minimum and there is NO reason why you should be walking around with less than $5 at any given time. That’s just dangerous. And seriously, don’t you feel like a toolbag when the nice barista hands you your Latte and asks for $3.50 and you hand over your VISA card expectantly? So lame, bro.
Using cash helps brain stimulation! Count it out, do the math, simple yes, but it’s something right? And adventurous! What better than doing your laundry and finding a faded, folded, clean crisp $20 you didn’t even know exist? Or finding a dollar on the sidewalk? Once on a road trip I found a $10 next to a garbage can at the mall!
Using your card allows your every move to be tracked and your purchasing trends monitored. Someone steals your card? That can affect your identity, credit report and all sorts of things. Someone steals $20, you’re out $20.
Money’s more fun that cards! Sure, you can get your picture on your card, or customize it, and show a cause you support, but currency has all sorts of cool shit going on. You can tell a lot about a culture by its money (except European countries rockin’ the Euro) and it says something about the U.S. that our money is lousy with dead presidents ( and Ben Franklin ) and only a few women. Sidenote: The two women most associated with money are Betsy Ross who’s known for sewing a flag, and Sacagawea deblumes with the image of a women who help direct male explorers Lewis and Clarke but there’s a lot going on. There’s scenes in the West Wing, X-Files, National Treasure, as well as countless specials on the History and Discovery Channel devoted to the stuff on our bills (Illuminati!). Nothing like a fun conspiracy theory either, and it’s always fun to look for all the weird little tells on money. (owl on the $20)How about Indecent Proposal? Can you imagine if Demi More was just fondling an AMEX or a check made out to her instead of reveling in a pile of cash? So lame.
Money’s handy for party tricks! I’ve seen people do tons of origami with bills ( YouTube it! ) I myself can make you a cool ring, a skill I picked up in middle school. After September 11th people figured out how to fold bills to look like the Twin Towers. Remember ‘Where is George’ when the internet first got big? And when all the states got their quarters? Or the few times you happen upon the elusive $2 bill? Currency is fun, adventurous, historical and tangible.
In conclusion I’m not saying that we should all cut up our credit/debit cards and carry around wads and wads of greenbacks. I’m just saying that variety is the spice of life, that your actions affect others more than you think, and currency is a fun and fascinating part of culture we should all embrace. So next time you head out into the world, bring along some pocket cash for all those little and important purchases, and next time you go out to dinner, maybe make the waitresses life a bit easier with some cash money.Why?
‘Cause Jeanne Says So.
Fun Facts About Money:
The Most sought after counterfeiter in US history operated out of NYC and was known as ‘Mr.88O’, the number of the file the US Treasury kept on him. His real name was Edward Mueller, and he only manufactured $1 bills. It took them 10 years to track him down (1938-1948)
More than 2 million Americans live on less than $2 a day
No trees were harmed in the making of you money, it’s a blend of 25% cotton and 75% linen
The term ‘buck’ comes from the days when Americans would trade animal pellets as currency
The flu virus can live on a dollar bill for 10 days. Gross
Martha Washington is the only woman to appear on a US note; in 1886 she appeared on the $1 silver certificate
The back of the 5$ bill features the names of all 50 states on the Lincoln Memorial
Monopoly shout out! Parker Brothers has printed more currency than the Federal Reserve
For Nick: The largest coin ever made is Australia’s Perth Mint- It is worth $53 million but has a face-value of $1 million. It is 80cm wide, 12cm deep, took 18 months to make. And of course, one side features…a kangaroo!