Nick Hates Hippies

Original post date: 5/27/2012

Who doesn’t, amiright? Who needs all that peace, love, and happiness? Not this guy. I’m perfectly happy to be unhappy. Not liking things is the way I like it. Why can’t we all just love each other? Because that would be boring as hell, that’s why. We need a little conflict to keep the world interesting. We need to be able to make fun of people who look like this:

Hit the jump for more hate.

If we can’t make fun of this guy, who can we make fun of? I mean, just look at the way he’s looking at the camera, begging us to say something about Liberace‘s fishing cap.

The scary thing is that the hippies are winning. We have become a country of men who want to talk about their feelings and vegetarians. This is unacceptable. Yesterday for a light snack I had deep fried bacon and washed it down with a glass of scotch, and it was delicious.

Hippies

We live in a world now where people get offended when you call them an asshole. Buck up and grow a pair, I say. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Don’t cry about it.

So cut off your dread locks and put down the bong. Bob Marley isn’t the second coming and we aren’t all connected on some cosmic level. The world is a clusterfuck of random colliding particles and eventually the two wrong particles will collide and we’re all going to blow up. The end.

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