FRIDAY FIVE! Best Fair Foods

After a week hiatus, FRIDAY FIVE returns!

Though Summer days wane, there is still plenty of time to indulge in the season’s finest epicurean treats… bikini be damned.  Open your mind (and your stomach) as we bring you the top five foods from fairs, festivals, carnivals and boardwalks.  Don’t forget your appetites!


5.) KETTLE CORN — Half the fun of eating this fair food is watching them pop the corn, stirring massive vats of kernels in a ceaseless mid-summer ritual.  Sure, you can get popcorn anywhere… but you want to dive headfirst into a giant kettle of it?  Well, you better find yourself a fair, festival or carnival.  And the best part is the variety of flavors.  I suggest caramel.  Shout out to Fisher Popcorn on the O.C.M.D. boardwalk!

4.) SNOW CONES — The perfect remedy for a hot summer day — plus you can mix and match two or more flavors.  Score one for the indecisive hoards!  Snow cone stands may have become common over the years, sprouting randomly at the edges of highway exit ramps and little league baseball games, but keep an eye out for anyone who shaves the ice from a massive block.  That’s the good stuff… Old school.

3.) COTTON CANDY — Nemesis of dentists everywhere, nothing says “carnival” like this fluffy treat. Cotton Candy seems like the greatest invention ever — until you try to eat it the sticky mess and end up wearing it all over your face.  I suggest heaving down a giant helping before riding on the Tilt-A-Whirl (anywhere that has cotton candy has to have one of those… I’m pretty sure its natural law, like gravity) and watch as you spew a delightful stream of rainbow bile.  Yay!

2.) ROASTED TURKEY LEG — This is no mere drumstick, mortal!  This is a hearty snack fit for royalty.  Divine right of the Crown as mandated by heaven itself.  Expensive, yes, but drop your gold and you, peasant, may spend a moment feasting like a king!  Your quest begins.  Seek out a Renaissance Fair, or if ye be bold, a rare and wonderful turkey festival.  Now go!

1.) FUNNEL CAKES — The undisputed king of boardwalk food.  This fried, twisted bit of heaven takes the number one spot because of its wide availability and delicious versatility.  In addition to boardwalks, funnel cakes are a staple of almost every fair, festival or carnival in the U.S. of A.  Enjoy them with the standard powdered-sugar dusting or, if you are feeling more adventurous, an assortment of jams, jellies and fruits.


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